Honestly, where do I even begin?
There was so much awesome stuff going on Monday night, it was hard for me to focus on only the things that meant anything. EVERYTHING seemed to have meaning. So, I narrowed it down to the stuff that got the biggest reaction from me.
I’m excited at the direction wrestling is going right now. THIS is what I want to see. This and so much more of this.
And I went completely out of control with caps for this report. Sorry in advance for that.
Let’s break down all the memorable moments from yesterday.
1. CM Punk takes an F-5 like a BOSS.
While I wasn’t at all enthusiastic about Brock vs HHH: THE SAGA, I am going absolutely bonkers over CM Punk vs Brock Lesnar: THE F-5 CHRONICLES
Whether you like Brock or not, it cannot be denied that his presence brings a little something extra to the show.
Having him work with Punk, who gives as much as he takes, is sure to be an epic battle. Brock wordlessly F-5ing Punk last night made me breathless with joy at the possibility of the awesome yet to come.
This is only the beginning, folks.
2. We all turn right along with you. + Ricardo tried to save Alberto. It just didn’t work.
So. Yesterday, I wrote about how we should all respect Alberto because he won the fight with Dolph Ziggler fair and square.
Last night, Del Rio took the sentiment that most fans were (foolishly) thinking, and used it to cement the fact that he is a bad guy. And it’s GREAT.
I was tiring of Alberto the smiling champion who loves the fans. SCREW US FANS, ALBERTO. Go back to being bad and awesome. And while you’re doing that, do that thing where you out wrestle everyone just because you can. That’s the best.
Bonus: The end of show beatdown that Ziggler gave Del Rio was equally as fantastic, and Ricardo trying to intercede on Alberto’s behalf and getting violently shoved to the ground for his troubles is more precious than I can put into words.
3. A McMahon arrives, swerves everyone, leaves.
While our NEW Divas champion was patting herself on the back for submitting Kaitlyn and being best Divas champion of all time, Stephanie McMahon showed up and, for lack of a better term, shut that shit down.
When AJ tried to get crazy, Stephanie was having none of it. It was beautiful to watch. One can only hope this is leading to AJ vs Kaitlyn part 2 with Stephanie in Kaitlyn’s corner.
But. There’s something really nagging at me about this segment. A criticism, if you will. Why did Stephanie bitch out Kaitlyn and the other Divas?
Think about it. Our former champion just got done being submitted and humiliated at Payback. She had to be helped to the back by Layla and consoled by the Divas backstage. This is super babyface territory. Kaitlyn deserved to have an authority figure on her side last night.
Had Stephanie looked AJ dead in her eyes and said ”Kaitlyn is the champion we need, so she gets a rematch.”, followed by AJ losing her mind and being carried away by Big E, that would’ve been perfect. But that wasn’t what happened.
As soon as Stephanie shut down Kaitlyn and the rest of the Divas, poof went Kaitlyn’s credibility as a competitive opponent. Which completely undermined the work put in to build her up in the first place. That’s not cool.
4. We ARE all puppets, Mark Henry.
Imagine my surprise at reading about Mark Henry retiring on Twitter. Then, as I watched on Monday, he thanks fans, wiped away tears, and thanked his family for their sacrifices so he could wrestle. He made jokes and charmed us all. He was getting the send off he deserved and I was happy to witness it.
AND THEN, HE REVEALED HIS TRUE NATURE.
This is the segment of the night.
Who didn’t laugh or cheer when Henry slammed Cena into the canvas and screamed ”DID YOU THINK IT WAS EASY??”
Mark Henry is the B-E-S-T.
5. Sheamus, you disappointed me.
In real life, I’m sure Sheamus is a nice guy. But everything he does outside of him wrestling and not speaking is awful. And while this isn’t totally his fault, it needs to change for the better.
I cannot deal with another one of these.
Sheamus, if you’re going to keep doing stuff like this, I’m going to give up hope on you. Stop it. Now.
And those are the Monday lessons.
Until next time.