Monday Night Lessons: What I learned from constant losses, TWO diva matches, and Raw in general (7-29-2013)

While the rest of the world cries into its collective coffee about another week of work/school/life, come Monday night, wrestling fans are given a much-needed reprieve. Raw, whether good or bad, always gives us something to talk about. Yesterday’s show was no exception.

Last night’s episode gifted us a Table match, Daniel Bryan vs Kane (!!!!!!), TWO divas matches, and a whole lot more.

With Summerslam approaching, the need for some good old fashioned entertainment becomes more prevalent by the episode. Because who wants to watch a boring Summerslam? Nobody, that’s who.

Let’s find out if this is a Raw for the record books, or one to forget.

1. Daniel Bryan vs Ka OH PLEASE DON’T DO THIS YOU GUYS JUST STAY FRIENDS or A BIG BOOT TO KANE

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Daniel Bryan vs Kane happened last night, and boy did this match not live up to my expectations.

I heart DB and Cuddly Kane, but Kane’s current wrestling doesn’t work for me.

Back when he was diabolical Kane throwing Rob Van Dam through walls and forcing Lita to marry him, he could do singles. But this is not that same Kane.

Something about him wrestling DB didn’t click with me despite the fact that this was THE match that I wanted to see. Perhaps Daniel moved too fast and it made Kane look slower and plodding by comparison? Perhaps.

Maybe Kane bring destroyed by The Wyatt Family a few more times will get my sympathy.

Speaking of the Wyatt’s. These people are something ELSE. From their entrance to the way they destroyed Kane, they sure know how to make a statement.

Another little thing I appreciate is the little touches given to the family to differentiate them from everyone else. When Bray screamed FOLLOW THE BUZZARDS and we got a quick flash of that sheep mask, then blackness, it reminded me why I love wrestling so much. Weird characters beating people and horror movie style fades to black make me SO HAPPY.

2. Is Fandango ever going to win a match?

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I would love to know the thinking behind having Fandango lose in the exact same way for weeks and how that equals entertaining. Because I don’t get it.

And no, FANDANGO IS A HEEL!!! is not an acceptable answer. Watching him lose by count out once or twice was fine. But this recent losing streak is on Groundhog Day levels of ridiculous. He’s been doing the same exact thing for weeks, and it’s getting old.

The Fandango character is hilarious and can do silly. For example: Why is Fandango not giving dance lessons to unsuspecting superstars? (Damien Sandow?)
Literally, someone should do something wrong, have to report to GM Maddox, and have their punishment be Fandango dancing lessons with him constantly berating that superstar for not doing the moves to his standards.

Also, I’m SHOCKED that Summer Rae hasn’t provided some kind of distraction that allows her to SASHAY away like she was too busy dancing to be grabbing anything or distracting anybody.

So. Less pointless Fandango countouts, more backstage fans lessons and Summer Rae sashay, please.

3. AJ finally gets her hands on Dolph.

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And, for lack of a better term, who gives a shit?

This whole thing with AJ and Dolph is really bugging me. AJ is our Diva’s champion who reduced Kaitlyn to a sobbing mess and made Kaitlyn so angry that she still can’t get it together enough to do anything besides spear AJ on site. This same AJ ran into a match FOR NO REASON, and got her sweaty bodyguard DQ’ed. What?

So, the AJ that singlehandedly took out her former best friend is now a mess over Dolph and cannot come up with a way to one up him?

Seems Legit.

In any event, is a good thing that AJ will soon be pair….. Oh. That’s a spoiler. Never mind.

4. CODY, DAMN YOU!

Damien Sandow


Reasons number 1 and 2 for why I love Damien Sandow so much.

5. The Bella’s win using a KAZOO BAH GAWD.

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While I normally can’t wait to rip something I hate in this show into tiny verbal shreds, there wasn’t much to hate about Brie Bella vs Natalya. Brie managed to pull out a decent match. She really showed some spunk in this match, and that effort deserves to be acknowledged.

But, we have to talk about the Kazoo. When I first saw it last night, I was annoyed and wanted a better finish. But let’s all take a moment to remember that we got two diva matches on Raw, and that the success of Total Divas means that we might see more diva action of this type in future shows. That is not annoying.

Let’s also take a moment to remember that this match had Natalya wrestling, and her farting or awkwardly dancing with Khali. Win!

6. Cocky Daniel Bryan?

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With everyone and Vince McMahon doubting the capability of Daniel Bryan, he’s got more to prove than ever. But a Daniel Bryan chasing a belt will only make that eventually victory that much sweeter.

I know people think that Daniel may lose at Summerslam, but I am hoping beyond hope that he wins. He is beyond deserving of a championship, can carry it well, and he’s believable in just about everything he’s done in his career.

But after Ryback vs John from yesterday, I still have my reasons for doubting John will lose.

Raw in general: While this show didn’t have Brock Lesnar, I still enjoyed it. Not as much as previous shows, but there’s enough action in this episode to keep me satisfied until next week.

But as we move closer to Summerslam, things should be kicked up a notch. There’s only twenty or so days left until we get there!

And those are your Monday lessons. Stay tuned to Absolute Smark for more wrestling goodness through the week.

Until next time.

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