Monday Night Lessons: What I learned from The Big Ending, YES! and Raw in general (7-15-2013)

Money in the Bank is now in the dust, and it’s time for WWE to build to the biggest wrestling party of the summer.

With a month and counting to Summerslam, WWE is planting the seeds of stories that’ll keep our minds (and eyes) on their shows until August.

But will this Raw be entertaining?

Let’s find out together.

1. The Big Ending, part 1.

In the middle of a particularly intense match between Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler, the bell rang.

At first I was like ”LOL BOTCH”, but then someone at ringside pulled off a hood and revealed herself.

Guys, AJ’s crazy again. And this time she has a big sweaty black man running security.

I sometimes forget that WWE is ”the longest running weekly episodic program” in history, so when AJ and Big E attack Dolph, OF COURSE AJ isn’t grabbing a mic and spilling all her hurt. Nor is Big E going to reveal why he decided to big end his former friend Dolph, or why he likes crazy AJ better than the showoff. We just have to let their faces and actions tell the story.

AJ was dumped and humiliated by the one true love she thought she had finally attained. So she sent Big E out to destroy him at a time where it would hurt him the most. TWO THUMBS UP.

It’s looking like it’ll be Big E Langston vs Dolph Ziggler at Summerslam. YES!

2. I was wrong about The Uso’s.

One of the best things about top shelf pay per views like Summerslam is they give us fans a chance to see talent we wouldn’t normally see. And it looks like it’s time for The Uso’s to give us all they’ve got.

I don’t know what the hell I was smoking that made me believe The Uso’s lacked personality. That isn’t even close to the case. They haven’t been given the chance to show off how great they are.

The past two days have given us The Uso’s at the top of their game. Their pre show match with The Shield at Money in the Bank was so good, all I could say to express my joy was 4 MAN SUPERPLEX HHHJJYTRDSFGHI or OH MY GOD THIS IS SICK.

Their match with The Real Americans from Raw was also great. The action wasn’t long enough, but we got a solid look at them wrestling another team and doing a great job. Plus they have some crazy energy that I love seeing.

It wouldn’t surprise me if they ended up facing The Shield again at Summerslam, but we shall see if my fantasy booking becomes reality.

3. Didn’t I tell all of you to believe in The Shield?

TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO MARK HENRY!!!

And to top it all off, they basically told Mark Henry to go back home and get reacquainted with his couch because he don’t want none of The Shield.

I love these guys.

4. The Big Ending, part 2.

Have you ever had a moment when watching wrestling that feels so real that you wind up staring at your laptop screen for half and hour trying to figure out how to write it? Yeah, that was me.

The segment between Paul Heyman, CM Punk was so vicious I had some trouble putting how I felt about it into words. Watching this felt like stumbling into someone else’s private argument. This was just as bad, if not worse, than watching your own family fighting.

Then Brock’s music hit and things really got intense.

The Paul Heyman we all thought we knew was gone. Replacing him is this evil man who cowers behind Brock. The Heyman we knew would’ve never allowed Brock to beat Punk so viciously. But that Heyman is long gone.

This Heyman is not the man holding up Punk’s WWE championship and heaping praise and guidance on Punk. This was not the Heyman from Wrestlemania that held ”that urn” for Punk and clumsily danced to Punk’s theme. This is not the man who mentored Punk like a son and helped him nurture his talent. This person is gone and will not be back.

As Heyman screamed for Punk to stay out of his life, I knew that the one happy and successful relationship between Punk and Heyman had reached its big ending.

For this alone segment alone, WWE can have my money for Summerslam.

5. John Cena’s chooses….

Daniel freaking Bryan to wrestle at Summerslam for the WWE title.

YES!

I can only hope WWE does the smart thing and has little disagreements pop up tween Daniel and John that don’t necessarily turn anybody, but make the match more intense than it would be if they respected each other. This is not the time the Daniel to be a full fledged bad guy.

6. The Big Ending, part 3.

Damien Sandow is still Mr. Money in the Bank, but now he’s got a bigger and more angry problem than keeping that briefcase. That problem is Cody Rhodes.

Despite his attempts to pretend that his former tag partner’s betrayal didn’t phase him, Cody ambushed his former partner after his loss to Christian and tried make him pay.

For the few minutes that this was on my screen, I left with one major thought. These two are going to have one excellent match whenever they finally do cross paths.

A little part of me still hurts at the loss of Rhodes Scholars, but Cody Rhodes is slowly breaking out of his shell and showing us a new side of himself. He wanted that briefcase and to have it ripped away from him when he was so close to winning it has put more fire into Cody and I’m liking what I see.

Damien Sandow will likely cower until he has to face his former partner, but don’t be surprised if the briefcase takes a backseat while Damien and Cody punch out their issues.

I’m looking forward to seeing Cody eventually get the upper hand. Maybe at Summerslam?

And on that big ending, those are your Monday lessons.

Until next time.

Sunday Night Lessons: Money in the Bank is BETRAYAL

From the time I woke up on Sunday morning, to the time the PPV started, I could not contain my excitement.

Money in the Bank has long been one of my favorite shows, and the little shivers of excitement I felt during the day told me this would be a great show.

MITB did not disappoint. All in all, it was a night of thrills, spills and BETRAYAL. It could not have been a more perfect PPV.

But enough rambling. Let’s get right to those Sunday lessons.

1. Believe in The Shield. And The Uso’s.

To start off what would be an epic night of wrestling, The Shield and The Uso’s performed like someone was getting released. The pre-show match between them started off slow, but built to an almost hysterical climax. It could easily be one of the best pre-show matches I’ve ever seen, and it all ended with The Shield retaining their tag team titles. It was clear that all the participants intended on proving their worth. And they did so in epic fashion.

I debated about whether or not I wanted to watch the pre-show, and boy did I make the right decision. This was the perfect way to kick this show off, and I was blown away by how amazing this match actually was. I was expecting it to be good, but when I saw a 4 man superplex pulled off, it instantly became something special.

2. Damien Sandow betrays his best friend, but attains a chance at greatness.

As I predicted, the WHC MITB stole the show. Some may disagree with my opinion, but I believe the WHC MITB was better than the MITB All Star match. Like, it isn’t even a close contest for me.

The WHC MITB, a gift from heaven, was excellent from start to finish. All the participants in this match took some insane bumps off of ladders, the floor and each other. Cody Rhodes gave Antonio Cesaro a MUSCLE BUSTER into a ladder. I’ve seen that move in WWE games, but in real life!?

But the real star of this match is our NEW Mr. Money in the Bank, Damien Sandow!

Let’s talk about Damien Sandow for a minute.

You see, I picked him to win the briefcase. I love the guy. But when I picked him, I didn’t think he would win. As the match kept going and Cody Rhodes was doing WORK, I became okay with the idea of him or Dean Ambrose getting the big win.

But when Damien came out of nowhere and pulled Cody Rhodes off the ladder, I went into shock. And when Damien unhooked the briefcase and held it in his hands, I screamed and clapped like a complete fool.

And then I saw Cody’s face.

That hurt in Cody’s expression silenced me. And with the two of them looking at each other, one with hate and the other with superiority, I was reminded of what we just lost. No more Rhodes Scholars.
Note: If breaking up a team, this is the way it should go.

Believe it or not, this was just the start of the episode of MITB I like to call BETRAYAL. Read on, folks. There’s more.

3. AJ Lee wins in definitive fashion.

I was kind of confused about this Divas match. The match itself was satisfying because you had stuff like what’s going on in the picture above, but after AJ won, that was it. There was no reaction from Kaitlyn. No post match crying or screaming. Nothing. That could’ve been because of time constraints, but the powers that be at WWE could’ve given us SOMETHING besides a shot of Layla holding Kaitlyn.

Either way, AJ is still the champ. But that isn’t enough for her, is it?

4. AJ Lee, mind your business.

Despite Dolph screaming at her multiple times to go to the back because Dolph’s got this under control, AJ Lee hit Alberto Del Rio with her Divas title, and helping Alberto win the match by DQ.

I’d consider AJ to be one of the more popular divas, and the hate directed at her last night was just amazing. Even I can admit that the match was going great until she hit Alberto.

I expected something, but seeing that was still shocking. It solidifies that ZigLee is on borrowed time. It should be one epic breakup and I can’t wait to see more.

5.  BETRAYAL: The Paul Heyman edition.

The Raw MITB is everything you thought it would be. More action, more spills to the outside, more insane bumps and a whole lot of excitement. There were a few moments where it seemed like anybody could’ve won. Or at least I wish it was that way.
When the Raw MITB started, I was nearly exhausted from screaming during the first MITB, and the subsequent solid wrestling. We had our matches that slowed things down, but it wasn’t as much breathing room as we all needed considering what was coming.

Like Sandow betraying Rhodes, I was floored when Heyman turned on Punk. The thought of that happening never even crossed my mind. But you know what? It was one of the most real moments of the show. The crowd, who had been beyond responsive and fun the whole night, was stunned into silence when Heyman threw the ladder at Punk’s legs. Punk’s facial expression as he laid bleeding on the mat is one that I won’t soon forget.

With this betrayal set in stone, this sets up what should be an intense Brock vs Punk at Summerslam. Here comes the pain!

Oh, and Randy Orton won the Raw MITB. *shrugs*

6. The meh matches were just that.

Jericho vs Ryback, Miz vs Curtis Axel, and John Cena vs Mark Henry were all solid matches, but I don’t have enough in me to care about the results. Which sounds awful, but that’s just how I felt.
This show was all about the briefcases, and those two matches did not disappoint.

And those are your Sunday lessons.

I cannot wait for Raw. The road to Summerslam starts now!

Monday night lessons: What I learned from Mark Henry, CM Punk, and Raw in general. (6-17-2013)

Honestly, where do I even begin?

There was so much awesome stuff going on Monday night, it was hard for me to focus on only the things that meant anything. EVERYTHING seemed to have meaning. So, I narrowed it down to the stuff that got the biggest reaction from me.

I’m excited at the direction wrestling is going right now. THIS is what I want to see. This and so much more of this.

And I went completely out of control with caps for this report. Sorry in advance for that.

Let’s break down all the memorable moments from yesterday.

1. CM Punk takes an F-5 like a BOSS.

While I wasn’t at all enthusiastic about Brock vs HHH: THE SAGA, I am going absolutely bonkers over CM Punk vs Brock Lesnar: THE F-5 CHRONICLES

Whether you like Brock or not, it cannot be denied that his presence brings a little something extra to the show.

Having him work with Punk, who gives as much as he takes, is sure to be an epic battle. Brock wordlessly F-5ing Punk last night made me breathless with joy at the possibility of the awesome yet to come.

This is only the beginning, folks.

2. We all turn right along with you. + Ricardo tried to save Alberto. It just didn’t work.

So. Yesterday, I wrote about how we should all respect Alberto because he won the fight with Dolph Ziggler fair and square.

Last night, Del Rio took the sentiment that most fans were (foolishly) thinking, and used it to cement the fact that he is a bad guy. And it’s GREAT.

I was tiring of Alberto the smiling champion who loves the fans. SCREW US FANS, ALBERTO. Go back to being bad and awesome. And while you’re doing that, do that thing where you out wrestle everyone just because you can. That’s the best.

Bonus: The end of show beatdown that Ziggler gave Del Rio was equally as fantastic, and Ricardo trying to intercede on Alberto’s behalf and getting violently shoved to the ground for his troubles is more precious than I can put into words.

3. A McMahon arrives, swerves everyone, leaves.

While our NEW Divas champion was patting herself on the back for submitting Kaitlyn and being best Divas champion of all time, Stephanie McMahon showed up and, for lack of a better term, shut that shit down.

When AJ tried to get crazy, Stephanie was having none of it. It was beautiful to watch. One can only hope this is leading to AJ vs Kaitlyn part 2 with Stephanie in Kaitlyn’s corner.

But. There’s something really nagging at me about this segment. A criticism, if you will. Why did Stephanie bitch out Kaitlyn and the other Divas?

Think about it. Our former champion just got done being submitted and humiliated at Payback. She had to be helped to the back by Layla and consoled by the Divas backstage. This is super babyface territory. Kaitlyn deserved to have an authority figure on her side last night.

Had Stephanie looked AJ dead in her eyes and said ”Kaitlyn is the champion we need, so she gets a rematch.”, followed by AJ losing her mind and being carried away by Big E, that would’ve been perfect. But that wasn’t what happened.

As soon as Stephanie shut down Kaitlyn and the rest of the Divas, poof went Kaitlyn’s credibility as a competitive opponent. Which completely undermined the work put in to build her up in the first place. That’s not cool.

4. We ARE all puppets, Mark Henry.

Imagine my surprise at reading about Mark Henry retiring on Twitter. Then, as I watched on Monday, he thanks fans, wiped away tears, and thanked his family for their sacrifices so he could wrestle. He made jokes and charmed us all. He was getting the send off he deserved and I was happy to witness it.

AND THEN, HE REVEALED HIS TRUE NATURE.

This is the segment of the night.

Who didn’t laugh or cheer when Henry slammed Cena into the canvas and screamed ”DID YOU THINK IT WAS EASY??”

Mark Henry is the B-E-S-T.

5. Sheamus, you disappointed me.

In real life, I’m sure Sheamus is a nice guy. But everything he does outside of him wrestling and not speaking is awful. And while this isn’t totally his fault, it needs to change for the better.

I cannot deal with another one of these.

Sheamus, if you’re going to keep doing stuff like this, I’m going to give up hope on you. Stop it. Now.

And those are the Monday lessons.

Until next time.