Monday Night Lessons: What I learned from needing attention, The Wisconsin IWC and Raw in general (8-5-2013)

So. Here we are. Another Raw in the record books and we’re that much closer to Summerslam.

That being said, I’m not even going to pretend that I enjoyed this week’s show. I didn’t. From the virtually silent wisconsin crowd, to the abundance of countouts and DQ’s, yesterday’s show was a baffling viewing experience.

Let’s go over the good (and bad) together.

1. An inferno match??!??

The Wyatt Family

The best news coming out of last night’s Raw is that Kane and Bray Wyatt might be competing in a ring of fire match at Summerslam.

While matches like The Elimination Chamber and Money in the Bank are familiar territory, WWE deciding on an inferno match with Kane and The Wyatt Family is the best match type that any of us could imagine.

Kane, when he isn’t cuddly, is a brutal monster. Like when he threw Rob Van Dam through a wall and set Jim Ross on fire. Unpredictable, crazy Kane is super entertaining.

Bray Wyatt is Jim Jones and every psychologically intimidating cult leader you’ve ever read about wrapped into one big package. Add in Kiran and Rowan s’s his silent but brutal partners (numbers!) and you’ve got a match with the potential to put the Wyatt’s on the map. Targeting Kane is one thing, but making me think that you have a chance of beating him when all the evidence says you shouldn’t is what makes The Wyatt Family so special.

Get excited, everyone. This match is going to be HUGE.

2. The Best vs Paul freakin Heyman next week!

This right here is one of the few things that I enjoyed last night. Punk vs Brock was sold for me when Heyman threw the ladder at Punk at MITB, but there’s always that little something extra when you get to hear Brock and Heyman speak. This promo solidifies that this Summerslam match will be as brutal as anything we’ve ever witnessed.

I can’t WAIT!

And I’ll be praying for Paul Heyman in his match next week against Punk. He’ll need all the positive energy he can get to get through that match. Our will Brock be the equalizer that we expect him to be?

3. Everything is wrong with the Diva’s division. Again.

Layla

I don’t know what it is that I don’t like about Layla teaming up with AJ, but it’s rubbing me the wrong way.

Perhaps it’s because I thought that AJ’s problem with Kaitlyn was taking her title and playing mind games with her until Kaitlyn cracked. That hasn’t happened yet, and I’m puzzled as to why that aspect of the story is off the table.

Another problem is Layla’s reason for betraying Kaitlyn. Layla simply wants attention. Okay, terrific.

Almost every single divas storyline revolves around someone wanting attention. Layla, who is beautiful and quirky, should get attention. But this story just doesn’t feel right. I like my own AJ/Layla/Kaitlyn story much better. Because my story builds to something interesting.

Layla also has zero momentum right now. How is this possible? Someone ad talented as she is should not be greeted by the sounds of crickets chirping.

These girls have the chance to make me eat my words with matches, promos and a little more betrayal. Let’s hope that happens.

I’d like to see more stuff like this only with Layla involved somehow:

4. Another awful Divas segment.

This promo is everything I hate about WWE’s attempts at writing for women. Hate, hate, hate it!

E, a network that has nothing to do with wrestling, is making stars out of these girls, but the WWE brass can’t seem to climb out of their enduring hole of sexism long enough to match a minute and thirty second diva segment worth more than a bucket of chicken at KFC.

You can only blame the talent for so long until you take a cold hard look at the situation and realize that sometimes these girls are sat up to fail. It’s an infuriating realization.

4. Daniel Bryan eating meat doesn’t make him more corporate

I understand what WWE is trying to do with Daniel by making him the guy who does what he wants and he’s the best (and hopefully will win) because of that. I get it. But I’ve been sold on Bryan vs Cena since Cena said ”I choose Daniel Bryan”

How about we spend less time on this and more time doing something other than finding sneaky ways to humiliate Wade Barrett?

5. Cody Rhodes has a present for Damien Sandow

Damien & Cody

This absolutely and totally bombed in front of the live crowd in Wisconsin last night, but I don’t care. Nothing in the world can make me hate Cody vs Damien at this point.

That being said, I’m tired of seeing my perfectly coiffed MITB pick as a disheveled mess. I can only hope that our savior has something up his sleeve next week.

6. Alberto Del Rio kicks the bucket.

Del Rio

I have big problems with WWE’s decision to break up Alberto and Ricardo. The main problem is that this little beatdown was completely unnecessary. Why did Alberto suddenly decide to beat Ricardo so viciously? It’s just bizarre.

If this leads to Ricardo interference that will eventually lead into Alberto vs Ricardo, I won’t be so upset. But I doubt that’s where this will end.

Raw overall: I hate to be the overly negative smark, but I didn’t like this show. Raw is starting to feel more and more like a burden at a three hour viewing time, and all that extra time is focused on super lengthy Cena promos and Stephanie McMahon crying backstage. You know, the stuff I don’t want to see.

Thank goodness that next week is the Summerslam go home show, because I’ve got to have a good Summerslam experience this year. WWE has some strong matches on tap for this PPV, so there’s no reason to be squandering interesting stories this late in the game.
And those are your Monday lessons.

Stay tuned for my NXT Review, and other interesting observations from the world of wrestling.

Until next time.

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Monday Night Lessons: What I learned from The Big Ending, YES! and Raw in general (7-15-2013)

Money in the Bank is now in the dust, and it’s time for WWE to build to the biggest wrestling party of the summer.

With a month and counting to Summerslam, WWE is planting the seeds of stories that’ll keep our minds (and eyes) on their shows until August.

But will this Raw be entertaining?

Let’s find out together.

1. The Big Ending, part 1.

In the middle of a particularly intense match between Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler, the bell rang.

At first I was like ”LOL BOTCH”, but then someone at ringside pulled off a hood and revealed herself.

Guys, AJ’s crazy again. And this time she has a big sweaty black man running security.

I sometimes forget that WWE is ”the longest running weekly episodic program” in history, so when AJ and Big E attack Dolph, OF COURSE AJ isn’t grabbing a mic and spilling all her hurt. Nor is Big E going to reveal why he decided to big end his former friend Dolph, or why he likes crazy AJ better than the showoff. We just have to let their faces and actions tell the story.

AJ was dumped and humiliated by the one true love she thought she had finally attained. So she sent Big E out to destroy him at a time where it would hurt him the most. TWO THUMBS UP.

It’s looking like it’ll be Big E Langston vs Dolph Ziggler at Summerslam. YES!

2. I was wrong about The Uso’s.

One of the best things about top shelf pay per views like Summerslam is they give us fans a chance to see talent we wouldn’t normally see. And it looks like it’s time for The Uso’s to give us all they’ve got.

I don’t know what the hell I was smoking that made me believe The Uso’s lacked personality. That isn’t even close to the case. They haven’t been given the chance to show off how great they are.

The past two days have given us The Uso’s at the top of their game. Their pre show match with The Shield at Money in the Bank was so good, all I could say to express my joy was 4 MAN SUPERPLEX HHHJJYTRDSFGHI or OH MY GOD THIS IS SICK.

Their match with The Real Americans from Raw was also great. The action wasn’t long enough, but we got a solid look at them wrestling another team and doing a great job. Plus they have some crazy energy that I love seeing.

It wouldn’t surprise me if they ended up facing The Shield again at Summerslam, but we shall see if my fantasy booking becomes reality.

3. Didn’t I tell all of you to believe in The Shield?

TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO MARK HENRY!!!

And to top it all off, they basically told Mark Henry to go back home and get reacquainted with his couch because he don’t want none of The Shield.

I love these guys.

4. The Big Ending, part 2.

Have you ever had a moment when watching wrestling that feels so real that you wind up staring at your laptop screen for half and hour trying to figure out how to write it? Yeah, that was me.

The segment between Paul Heyman, CM Punk was so vicious I had some trouble putting how I felt about it into words. Watching this felt like stumbling into someone else’s private argument. This was just as bad, if not worse, than watching your own family fighting.

Then Brock’s music hit and things really got intense.

The Paul Heyman we all thought we knew was gone. Replacing him is this evil man who cowers behind Brock. The Heyman we knew would’ve never allowed Brock to beat Punk so viciously. But that Heyman is long gone.

This Heyman is not the man holding up Punk’s WWE championship and heaping praise and guidance on Punk. This was not the Heyman from Wrestlemania that held ”that urn” for Punk and clumsily danced to Punk’s theme. This is not the man who mentored Punk like a son and helped him nurture his talent. This person is gone and will not be back.

As Heyman screamed for Punk to stay out of his life, I knew that the one happy and successful relationship between Punk and Heyman had reached its big ending.

For this alone segment alone, WWE can have my money for Summerslam.

5. John Cena’s chooses….

image

Daniel freaking Bryan to wrestle at Summerslam for the WWE title.

YES!

I can only hope WWE does the smart thing and has little disagreements pop up tween Daniel and John that don’t necessarily turn anybody, but make the match more intense than it would be if they respected each other. This is not the time the Daniel to be a full fledged bad guy.

6. The Big Ending, part 3.

Damien Sandow is still Mr. Money in the Bank, but now he’s got a bigger and more angry problem than keeping that briefcase. That problem is Cody Rhodes.

Despite his attempts to pretend that his former tag partner’s betrayal didn’t phase him, Cody ambushed his former partner after his loss to Christian and tried make him pay.

For the few minutes that this was on my screen, I left with one major thought. These two are going to have one excellent match whenever they finally do cross paths.

A little part of me still hurts at the loss of Rhodes Scholars, but Cody Rhodes is slowly breaking out of his shell and showing us a new side of himself. He wanted that briefcase and to have it ripped away from him when he was so close to winning it has put more fire into Cody and I’m liking what I see.

Damien Sandow will likely cower until he has to face his former partner, but don’t be surprised if the briefcase takes a backseat while Damien and Cody punch out their issues.

I’m looking forward to seeing Cody eventually get the upper hand. Maybe at Summerslam?

And on that big ending, those are your Monday lessons.

Until next time.