It’s time to take my most memorable moments from Raw and analyze them to death.
As we inch ever so much closer to Money in the Bank, It’s time for WWE to step it up and deliver the goods. The goods being an entertaining show. And was this show entertaining?
In my opinion, NO.
Let’s get learning.
1) The Wyatt family beat almost everything on the show.
Honestly, what can I even say? They’re COMING.
I didn’t expect it this soon, and I feel like a girl who has to rush dress before a hot date. I cannot believe the Wyatt Family will be here next week. My hope is that they make a big impact. And going by their promos, how can they not?
2) We have a problem. I refuse to boo Daniel Bryan.
Here’s the thing. I’m already convinced that Daniel Bryan is God’s gift to wrestling. Really. He possesses talent that makes him a valuable asset to the WWE roster. Bryan always gives me a reason to tune in, and I’m disappointed if he isn’t on the show, which is a rare feeling on my part these days. He’s so good, he’s making me enjoy Randy Orton. That’s talent.
That being said, this shit with him and Kane last night almost made my head explode. And while I’m thinking about things, something is making me sad. Daniel Bryan is a fantastic wrestler, and clearly popular. WHY does it appear that he’s turning bad? This man could potentially lead the company should John Cena pop a kneecap, and I’m being made to disregard all that talent just so I can boo him? Sorry, WWE. It’s not gonna happen. Daniel Bryan is too good to follow your line of thought.
FACT: I will never boo Daniel Bryan. Ever.
3) CM Punk, using only exasperated facial expressions, wins Raw again.
CM Punk doesn’t trust fellow Paul Heyman guy, Curtis Axel. So, to earn Punk’s trust, Axel spent a large part of their tag team match ignoring Punk. And when Punk was finally tagged in and did work on The Primetime Players, Axel tagged himself back in and stole the pin. And you know what? I loved it.
This thing tween Heyman and Punk is already interesting. But you add in Curtis Axel, a guy clearly in it for himself, and you get a more interesting dynamic. Heyman trying to sweet talk Punk into believing the BS he’s spewing is some of the best work on TV, and Punk himself deserves some props for being one of the only interesting characters on Raw last night.
Curtis Axel being made part of the magic last night was the icing on the cake. I hate to sound like a Punk fangirl, but him and Heyman clearly have a better idea of what they’re doing than half the writing team. Give me more of this and less of almost everything else on last night’s show, please.
4) What once excited me is now meh: AJ vs Kaitlyn.
I can’t believe I’m typing this.
The work done by AJ and Kaitlyn to make me excited for Payback and their future rematches has retreated into a dark hole in less than a few weeks. Last week saw AJ and Kaitlyn dressing as each other, and the week before that saw Kaitlyn and AJ moving mountains to make an interesting story. And I was right there in it and loving it.
With last night’s reveal of a “fat” Kaitlyn photoshop, it looks like WWE is right back to it’s “OMG SHE’S FAT LOL” ways. And it makes me so sad.
Seriously, you have a story of best friends turned bitter enemies with two talented ladies, and THIS is the best that the WWE creative team can come up with to continue the aggression? Yikes.
It’s incredibly frustrating to see Kaitlyn and AJ given 3 minutes of TV time to try to sell THIS. Not so much because it’s insulting or the fat shaming, but because it isn’t entertaining. It doesn’t shock me. It’s just there. And after that equally awful Bella segment, I completely forgot about AJ and her cute pink chucks.
AJ coming out and skipping around the ring and making faces at Kaitlyn would’ve been more effective. Or even AJ spearing Kaitlyn. ANYTHING but this.
That being said, these two are wrestling again at Money in the Bank. Am I excited for the match by default? Yes. Do I think these two will perform well despite the awful buildup they’ve been given up to this point? Yes. But there isn’t much to be excited about if you look at last night.
I hate to be the person that repeats the same thing about TNA’s women’s wrestling, but seriously. They are doing some excellent business with their women, and it outshines WWE’s women by miles. Try it sometime.
6) Dead crowds can really drag down a show.
I’m not sure what’s better. A “bizarro world” crowd that actually responds to the show, or the awful crowd from last night who seemed like they were sleeping the whole show. Oh, wait. Now I know. Bizarro World.
7) Once upon a time, I didn’t give a shit. Also known as this Total Divas hype segment.
If you’ve been reading this blog on a regular basis, it’ll be common knowledge to you that I’m a huge fan of women’s wrestling. I love it when I see two ladies put on a wrestling clinic and beat out the men or do something groundbreaking that hasn’t been done before.
And then we get this shit and I almost die of embarrassment.
This rambling, inane promo to promote Total Divas is everything I hate about the current divas division. The Bellas throwing shade for almost no conceivable reason because OH WOMEN. Natalya being called fat because, well, I can’t work out a reason why. Naomi and Cameron as background noise. JoJo Offerman and Eva Marie as background noise when half the audience doesn’t know who they are. It’s atrocious.
Let me tell you a little about myself. I’m not far off from 30, female, and enjoy reality television. My favorite shows are The Ultimate Fighter, Top Shot, MasterChef, and almost all of the Real Housewife shows. I’m right in line with the demographic that could potentially like and regularly tune into Total Divas.
What part of any of this promo was supposed to make me interested in watching a show based around the actual lives of these ladies? Because I’m looking for something more interesting than this.
I guarantee you I could sell Total Divas better than that promo last night using one picture. Ready?
Show. Sold. THIS is interesting. Not that manufactured backstage bitch fest we saw last night.
8) SHUT UP, CROWD. Mark Henry is speaking.
Mark Henry disregarding those lame what chants made my night. But yeah, Mark Henry promos should be played on repeat. Give us the goods, Mark.
If Henry doesn’t win the championship, I will be so disappointed. This guy works his ass off, and is a more interesting character than Cena. Please win the title, Mark. Please?!
And on that note, those are your Monday Lessons.
This wasn’t the worst Raw I’ve ever seen, but there certainly wasn’t much going on beyond what I’ve written about. Trust me.
Until next time.
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